JD Vance and Ted Cruz are fighting for control of the GOP. The problem? Neither is called Trump | Arwa Mahdawi

NO BUT ACTUALLY THOUGH IT IS JUST LIKE TRYING TO PICK A DESSERT AT A WEDDING WHEN THE GROOM IS ALREADY EATING THE WHOLE CAKE HIMSELF! SO THE GUARDIAN SAYS JD VANCE AND TED CRUZ ARE FIGHTING FOR CONTROL OF THE GOP BUT THE REAL ISSUE IS THAT NEITHER OF THEM IS TRUMP! WE ARE A MONTH FROM MIDTERMS AND THE WHOLE PARTY SEEMS TO BE FLAILING WHILE TRUMP IS DANGLING MONEY AND PROMISING A BIG SURPRISE! VANCE IS THE FRONT RUNNER FOR 2028 BUT APPARENTLY HE IS THE LEAST POPULAR VP EVER AND HAS MADE ENEMIES BECAUSE OF HIS IRAN WAR SCEPTICISM! MEANWHILE CRUZ IS OUT THERE TELLING EVERYONE VANCE IS NOT A SHOO-IN FOR THE NOMINATION! IT IS A MESS AND NOBODY KNOWS WHO COMES NEXT! ANYWAY I AM GOING TO GO THINK ABOUT MY LIFE.

RIGHT I NEED THIRTY SECONDS OF YOUR LIFE TO EXPLAIN WHY THE GOP BIGWIGS ARE ALREADY LOOKING AT 2028 INSTEAD OF THE MIDTERMS! THE GUARDIAN SAYS JD VANCE AND TED CRUZ ARE CLAWING AT EACH OTHER FOR THE TOP SPOT LIKE IT IS A BLACK FRIDAY SALE! VANCE MIGHT BE THE FRONT RUNNER ON PAPER BUT CNN SAYS HE IS HISTORICALLY UNPOPULAR AND CRUZ IS ACTIVELY TRASHING HIS CHANCES BECAUSE HE DISAGREES ON THE IRAN WAR! PLUS TRUMP IS STILL IN THE MIX DANGLING MONEY AND PROMISING SOME WEIRD BIG SURPRISE! NEITHER VANCE NOR CRUZ IS ACTUALLY RUNNING THE SHOW RIGHT NOW BECAUSE TRUMP IS STILL THE GUY AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE PARTY JUST SEEMS TOTALLY LOST ON WHO SHOULD BE NEXT! ANYWAY REMEMBER I TOLD YOU FIRST.

An op-ed from The Guardian suggests that JD Vance and Ted Cruz are competing for the 2028 GOP nomination while Donald Trump remains a major, unpredictable presence as the midterm elections approach.

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