‘April X’ Review: Connor Storrie Bides His Time in a Generic Sci-Fi Clone

THIS IS SO STUPID AND I LOVE IT, CONNOR STORRIE SHOT SOME RANDOM SCI-FI MOVIE BEFORE HEATED RIVALRY MADE HIM FAMOUS AND NOW THEY ARE SHOVING IT INTO ACTUAL THEATERS PURELY TO CASH IN ON HIS NEW CELEBRITY! IT IS CALLED APRIL X AND IT WAS FILMED IN CRUMBLING HOUSING BLOCKS IN BUCHAREST WHERE HE PLAYS AN ORGAN TRAFFICKER NAMED BAXTER ALONGSIDE HIS TWIN SISTER WHO DOWNLOADS DREAMS, WHICH IS WILD BECAUSE THE REVIEW SAYS HE BASICALLY JUST COPIED HARRISON FORD'S BLADE RUNNER FROWN WHILE DUTIFULLY WAITING FOR A BETTER GIG, AND THE THING IS THE DIRECTOR JUST WELDED TOGETHER SCRAPS OF OTHER FILMS TO ESCAPE STRAIGHT-TO-VOD, SO NOW WE HAVE THIS MURKY GREIGE CLONING THRILLER GETTING A WHOLE CINEMA RELEASE BEFORE HIS QUEER HOCKEY SHOW EVEN DROPS SEASON TWO. ANYWAY REMEMBER I TOLD YOU FIRST.

NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT THIS ENOUGH, GERMAN ACTOR LILLY KRUG PLAYS A TWIN SISTER WHO DOWNLOADS HER DREAMS ONTO RETRO DATA DEVICES WHILE HER BROTHER BAXTER LITERALLY TRAFFICS BLACK MARKET ORGANS, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS FILMED IN RUN-DOWN BRUTALIST APARTMENTS IN BUCHAREST WITH DRONES BUZZING OVERHEAD TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A COLLAPSED DYSTOPIAN FUTURE, WHICH IS WILD BECAUSE THE BROTHER IS PLAYED BY CONNOR STORRIE FROM HEATED RIVALRY WHO SHOT THIS ENTIRE PO-FACED CLONE FLICK BEFORE BECOMING A MASSIVE STAR, AND THE REVIEW SAYS THE DIRECTOR MICHEL K PARANDI BASICALLY SCRAPED TOGETHER BITS OF BETTER MOVIES ON A CRAMPED BUDGET, SO NOW THIS THING IS DUMPED INTO ACTUAL THEATERS TO MILK HIS CELEBRITY BEFORE SEASON TWO OF HIS QUEER HOCKEY SHOW DROPS. ANYWAY DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK?

Following Connor Storrie's breakout role in Heated Rivalry, his previously filmed low-budget sci-fi thriller April X is receiving a theatrical release despite mixed reviews.

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