Oura pulls $15bn stock market listing days after announcement

YOU ARE GOING TO THINK I AM MAKING THIS UP BUT FIRST OURA FILED OFFICIAL PAPERS JUST OVER A WEEK AGO TO SELL SHARES AND VALUE THE SMART RING COMPANY AT FIFTEEN BILLION DOLLARS AND THEN DAYS LATER THEY COMPLETELY PULLED THE PLUG CITING UNCERTAINTY IN THE IPO MARKET AND DID NOT EVEN SAY WHEN THEY MIGHT TRY AGAIN WHICH IS WILD BECAUSE THEIR CEO SAYS THEY HAVE THE LUXURY OF CHOOSING THEIR MOMENT AND THE THING IS THEY ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES BACKING AWAY FROM WALL STREET AFTER A NUCLEAR TECH FIRM DELAYED THEIRS TOO OVER INFLATION AND INTEREST RATES AND MEANWHILE OURA IS ALSO FACING A LAWSUIT CLAIMING RINGS CANNOT MEASURE SLEEP BECAUSE SLEEP HAPPENS IN THE BRAIN AND NOT ON A FINGER BUT OURA SAYS THEY STAND BY THEIR SCIENCE. ANYWAY I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS IN THE TAXI.

OK NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT THIS ONE IT IS HONESTLY LIKE RETURNING A TOASTER TO THE STORE FIVE MINUTES AFTER BUYING IT BUT OBSERVED LIKE A RARE BEAST IN NATURE BECAUSE OURA WAS SITTING MAJESTICALLY READY TO RAISE UP TO TWO POINT TWO BILLION DOLLARS ON NASDAQ AT A FIFTEEN BILLION VALUATION AND THEN SUDDENLY RETREATED INTO THE CANOPY CITING IPO MARKET UNCERTAINTY WHICH IS WILD BECAUSE THEIR REVENUE REACHED ONE POINT TWO BILLION DOLLARS IN NINE MONTHS BUT US TEN-YEAR DEBT HIT HIGHS NOT SEEN SINCE TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN AND THE THING IS EXPERTS OBSERVE THE ENTIRE ECONOMIC ECOSYSTEM SHIFTED IN WEEKS SO NOW THE SMART RING CREATURE IS CALMLY DECLARING THEY HAVE THE LUXURY OF CHOOSING THEIR MOMENT. ANYWAY THAT IS MY WHOLE THING, LET US DANCE.

Smart ring maker Oura has postponed its planned $15bn US stock market listing, citing market uncertainty.

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